New Connections - Reflections, Directions, Intentions

Art Fair - Kerby 2013

Connected Threads and Fab Fiber Designs will become

Must B Felt

 Must B Felt will be the name of my fiber art business effective immediately.  My bestie and me have been collaborating under that name all summer, and have decided that we have no further need for our separate businesses since we always work together, create together, and live together.   This is an exciting time for us, and we are so grateful to have been perceived as the artists that we are in the Illinois River Valley.. and accepted by such talented individuals into the local arts community.  It still chokes me up a bit that I've found a medium by which I can create things worthy of the term "art".  Many years now I've been knitting and crocheting things for friends and family... and that led to creating for others as well.  I never intended it to be a business.  It kind of just grew itself.  I love to create, and I love to see the appreciation on a recipients face when they are given one of my designs, or purchase something special for themselves.  It gives me great joy.  I'm so grateful to be able to share this all with my best friend.  Let me tell you a little about what it means to me just to have one.

In 1991, my best friend since 5th grade, Annette Marie Doucette, was killed by her husband before he killed himself.  It was tragic.  He lost it after her 3rd miscarriage... but they had a 3 year old daughter.  Go figure... I stopped trying years ago.  However, it just seemed like I could not connect with any woman on a best friend level after that.  I don't know if it was about the loss, or about the level of friendship that we had, but I did not call any woman my best friend for over twenty years.  I had friendships with women, and men.. but not a bestie - it just wasn't happening.  When I met Rhonda, I overheard her telling someone that she had a booth at Fibermania (a local Fiber Festival in Grants Pass where we both were living) and I just walked up and introduced myself and asked if she wanted a booth partner.  To my surprise she did.. and that was the start of a fast friendship.  We were attending the same spiritual center, classes and we had fiber in common.  We laughed together, we cried together, we learned together, we had deep and meaningful conversation and best of all we totally clicked... and I knew it was leading me to a point where I had to either admit she was my best friend or start backing away like I've done so many times to avoid getting close.  I chose to take the sane route and NOT do the same thing over and over again expecting different results.  I felt brave, and I let go of the fear of loss and allowed this wonderful woman into my heart.

She was in a deteriorating relationship and I was just out of one.  I was renting a room from one of our mutual acquaintances (who at the time was posing as a friend) not far from where she lived who also attended the spiritual center where we met.  We talked about how we were going to find a house and move in together.  I hadn't found one yet, and she chose to move down to Cali with her mom while I continued looking for a spot for us.  In the meantime, I got back with my ex.

I found this house for us.. all of us if need be.  She came home and stayed one night before going back to her husband.. it just was not time.  After a year, my relationship quietly expired, and she became more and more frustrated with hers.  She moved in late May, into this house with me, and we've been expanding together ever since.

Last weekend was our first Art Fair together... it was amazing to be in the room with all of that creativity and love.  I knew that I was in the company of others like me... and on my nametag, under my name was the word "artist".  It felt perfect.  It felt real.  It felt like me.  I spent most of my earnings on things the other artists had made.  I wanted a piece of each and every heart.  I think I missed 3... and they didn't have anything I could budget in with what I had left, but I'm certain that one day I will have a rug that Shaloma wove from alpaca roving, a painted silk scarf, and some jewelry from Nora.

Things are connecting constantly.  I am in a state of wonder at all times, and I'm evolving and manifesting so fast it spins my head sometimes.  I would have it no other way.  I've opened myself to the entrance of the man of my dreams into my life.  I am so passionately in love with myself today that I find I want to share myself with someone in a romantic way.  Gone are the pangs of loneliness.  Gone is the pain of withdrawal from the addiction to love.  Gone is that feeling that I need someone to be with me.  I want someone to share dreams, hugs, kisses and intimacy with.  I want to create a friendship with an individual... a whole person.  I am a complete puzzle.  I have no spaces that need filling, and none of my pieces can fit into another's puzzle.  I'm looking for that person who's puzzle is also complete. Standing together, I know that we will create a wonderful panorama. 

The BEST day I can remember in a very long time!!

Some Days Just ROCK!!

Today was one of those days.  How many times have I said or heard that phrase and waited for the story of the awful things that happened to tumble from my lips, or pierce my ears?  Too many, undoubtedly, and I am certain that I'm not in a lonely boat.  The stories leading up to the events of today definitely qualified along the way for the "other" perception of "one of those days", so I feel it perfectly fitting that I got a trifecta of great news all in one day.

It started like so many Monday mornings... late night being KJ to a great crowd the night before, with the usual wind-down time.... it started after noon is when it started.  Rather, the alarm started at 10am, I finally started around noon... and I did not feel so hot, as it is before cappuccino most days.  Then, the good stuff began.. and it kept on rolling in all day long!!!

I had a doctor's appointment in Medford (75mi away) and my car had been squeaking.  Both, when I turn, and when I hit a bump. I knew I had this trip to make, so I stopped by my usual mechanic's shop last week, and he basically told me that he would put it up on the rack (rack charge $25 minimum) and "squirt the hell out of it with WD40".  Apparently... "these old Honda's (mine's an 88 Prelude) get kinda squeaky around the bushings when the weather changes a lot" and "that's all it needs".... ok, if you say so "Mechanic Guy"... but, I'm doing a friend a favor tomorrow... and with a can of WD40 in his hand this morning - and "a pay-it-foreword favor" most of the squeak-age was gone.

It was definitely a cold winter this year without a doubt... we had frozen fountains, and snow that stuck enough to trap my car for a day or two between a couple of nice sized burms.. so maybe the theory had merit... at any rate, on with the greatness that was today!!

Before Medford, I had to stop at the Courthouse in GP to file the final paperwork on my dissolution from the con-artitst "Fast Eddie" (self-titled no less - can we say "naive"?).  This has been going on since January 29th, 2010, ok?  He has now evaded service for over 6 months, refused certified mail, and had the nerve to contact me only last week asking me to forgive him for all that he had done to me.. and "can't we just have  a chill divorce?"... "not unless you return my belongings" responded I... along with "If it were true that you wanted that, why are you evading service?"... a warrent - probation violation #11 since his release from prison in 2011 for beating up his baby mamma after we were separated... I know, I know - great choice.  In my defense, I was out of my fucking mind when I made it... I have no other facts with which to explain this horrifying decision.  So - I go up there (after going through all the hassle of getting approval to post on the courthouse bulletin board for 30 days in lieu of advertising) to finally file the final judgment paperwork.  As I calmly go through the stack making sure that everything is in order... it appears that I may be missing one form, to me at least.  The clerk assured me that everything was in order, and I asked if that meant that my divorce would be final now in 30 more days.  Her answer... Oh no!!  As soon as the judge signs these papers, your divorce is final!!

Next, I pick up my baby boy (23) and he accompanies me to the GI doctor.  The last time we went, all they did is send me for yet another set of lab work.  I was actually kind of bummed.. driving all of that way only to have been handed yet another lab slip (now #3 since November).... but now I understand why.  The doctor came into the room, and said not much else but this, "I have no idea why you had such an acute liver episode.  But right now, one of your levels is as if you had never been exposed to the virus, and the other one is so low that you don't even need to worry about it... your liver seems to be healing itself".  Really?  Really?  Life is fucking irrationally awesome folks.... seriously.  I was looking at a pretty intense treatment plan if his answers would have been polarized in the other direction!!

... and then, I asked about the card that was sent through one daughter to the daughter who just had a beautiful little girl 3 weeks ago.  Again, I detached from the outcome when I signed and sealed that card, and sent it with nothing but unconditional, unselfish love.  No matter whether she even opened it, or threw it away.  My sentiments were expressed, and I just wanted her to know that it was all about her... no me statements.  "She LOVED it, Mom.  She said it was perfect."

That was my wonderful day.  I'm going to tell you how I think it came about in another post.  Suffice it to say for now that I didn't fret.... not about any of it.  Not from the squeak to the card.. not even about the finances, which is another story altogether already in the midst of being resolved.... and not for where I'm going to live, or when I'm going to move next, if at all.

I'm excited for spring, and can't wait for summer... I want to do more of the things that being in Southern Oregon is all about!!  I'm not wasting one single sunny day!!

I'm ready to hit Apple Jam... with my new Toca, and my awesome quartz bowl... and I can't wait to learn, and collaborate, and vibrate with the souls who share a common dream.  I ready to reach the sky this summer... I'm ready to fly as high as the clouds will float me up in the sky that is my soul's obsession... I'm ready to raise my consciousness... and touch beings on new levels.  I am you, and you are me, and together we can create a reality that only we can dream of.  I'm excited to swim, hike, dance, sing, and bask in the sunshine... I'm ready... and it's not far away... March is already around the corner... and the first Pisces Birthday celebrations in the Age of Aquarius have already been celebrated!!  It's going to be a great year... full of joy and sweetness, beauty and solace, rest and relaxation, and sharing our soul's connections.  I'm more than excited.... I am in labor for the new things erupting this Spring!!!

My swimming hole at Green Bridge out by Sunstar Ranch... notice the reflection of the stump.  If you rotate the whole picture clockwise 90degrees.  Maybe you can see the hands in Ohm meditation.

 Mars Swimming Hole, O'Brien - Have never actually swam here, and found it for the first time this winter.  Can't wait to see how clear it gets in the summer if it's this nice already!!

Out and About Treehouse Resort.  Destination of choice among those who enjoy great Reggae, and two days of fireworks in a beautiful treehoused environment with horseback riding, zip lines and Tarzan swing.

Only a few of the highlighted destinations that are within 10 minutes from me.  I live in Paradise.  I don't need to strive toward heaven... I'm in it already.

Sandra Singh gives away Mindy Tallack patterns and yarn!!!

http://knittingwithsandrasingh.blogspot.com/2013/02/win-mindie-tallack-pattern-kit.html

My Garden of Shadows

It's funny.  Here's where we connect different kinds of threads...

I picked up knitting after 35 years of strictly crocheting in 1998.  I had become ill, and was making very long trips of several hours at least twice a month - and needed something new to pique my interest and distract me from both my husbands driving (which was phenomenal, but my skills at being a passenger were not) and the excruciating pain coursing through my body of unknown origin.

My grandmother taught me to knit when I was 9... one pattern.  These:

My mother crocheted... and knew how to knit one thing.  These slippers... every color that Red Heart put out.. doubled yarn on size US8 straight needles.  Not a hard pattern, not at all, and great for a beginner to learn with, but we never got past this one pattern, and they always fell of my feet.  Me being me "if I'm not good at it, I will find someone more capable and we'll trade" and not loving the end result I lost interest.

I had been admiring the smooth soft lines of hand-knit items for years, and somehow could not get my mind around how the skills I learned pictured above could ever become a shawl.... until now.  Connect the Threads Lori, once again... a craft that seemed so "grandma" once (and do not take offense for I now have 4 biological and 3 just as special grandchildren as of the new addition of Lucy Ann on the 2nd of this month) had evolved without my paying attention into the artform it is today.

I am so glad I picked up that little book with cast-on instructions 14 years ago... I love testing for other designers as I gather the courage to publish some of my designs.. learning the ins and outs of pattern writing, testing, and marketing via contacts that really know what they are doing, or we are learning together and either is equally awesome!!  So I present here for your optical enjoyment my very first completed shawl.

Garden of Shadows Shawl

by Marilyn Giselle Maupin

I must tell you this was amazing for so many reasons....

First of all, I love to test knit, and do all my tests through the Free Pattern Testers Group on Ravelry.com.  Anytime I just don't know what to make yet, and most of the time alongside of something else I'm making as well - I will look for a test knit.  It helps me use stash. It gives me a feeling of helping another designer.. and it keeps me in touch with what a deadline really is.

Paulette Richardson, one of my oldest "Cyber-Fiber Friends" created this skein of Sock Yarn for me especially.  She has been support for me since 2008.  She owns Coulrophobia Yarns on Etsy, and the blue is her yarn to me - in her base Hippiechic.  She named it "Bad A$$ Survivor" in my honor.  I had it for a few years before this test knit said, "Now.  Use the Bad Ass yarn now"... and so it began.  The yarn was so soft, beautiful and I was ever more and more excited as the tonal color changes began to do that magic that they do as a fabric begins to emerge from the needles.

As is sometimes the case, and the reason smart designers have their patterns tested, the yardage that the prototype was made with differed with the actual yardage coming off of my skein and I realized by the time the lace panel was finished that it was a shame I had not covered my bases by choosing a yarn of which I had two skeins just in case - or so I thought.  I made lemonade!  I had just gotten in a couple of bags of Ice Angora Superfine (black, and grey - which I bought thinking "you never buy solid colored yarn and someday you are going to need this) and the grey was just perfect... this yarn is a finer gauge than the Hippiechic, and though I was apprehensive, I just did not have any other thing sitting around that would work.. and the original yarn was one of a kind.

I really could not be more pleased.  The angora is super soft, and really warm for how thin the fabric is. The difference in yarn gauge did not affect fabric gauge whatsoever, and I love the way the thin lines of blue pop off of the grey and you can see the whole squiggly thread on each side.  I did some lace work with fingering and mohair ala what's in Romantic Lace (book) using this technique in garter stitch.. but I do believe that it looks just as nice and stands out just as well in stockinette.

I am well pleased.

I have been connecting things again.......

So, my sacral chakra has struggled to function properly for as long as I can remember.  I didn't know what that meant, and especially how to work through it until quite recently.  It's been at least 4 years since I realized that it was one of the most significant symptoms I experienced regularly in both the physical and energetic portions of my existence.  It has been two, since I became aware of methods with which to restore function and balance to this energy point that I have.  I have expended much of my effort in discovery of what beliefs have caused this chakra to resonate at a frequency other than it's optimum.

It seems that as long as I made it my focus (and my frustration) to work, work, work on that "imbalance" within my energy body... I could chip pieces off of the "block", but just couldn't find my way to the root thought and emotions that settled there in contrast to the vibration that would allow my energy to flow freely through this chakra...., up until now.  

Things seriously do manifest quickly, once we set an intention and do not falter in our belief that Source Energy has everything we need, and we are Source Energy, therefore, everything we need is inside us... including the answer to the burning question I had for all those months, "Why can I seem to do no more than peel a layer off of this particular area of my life?", and it's partner "What am I missing, or blocking or hiding from my conscious mind and how do I get to it?".  I was on a quest, and many times I felt as if this would be one of the most important discoveries of my life.

Of course, as often happens for me, as soon as I let go of the feeling that I had to "work" for the answers, realizing I just had to allow the memory to flow into my remembrance, things began to quickly line up.  People, places and things arranged themselves in such a way, and with such perfection of harmony and timing that I felt like the Universe had created a Symphony just for me today.  It was one of those pointed moments that when you have them, you just know that you will not forget that day.. it will be highlighted forever.

It really was as if I was systematically building a house, not demolishing it; this process of discovering the root of it.  Foundationally, I studied the energy body, chakras, Qi, and a bit of Reiki.  This gave me the knowledge basis with which to diagnose the symptoms I suffered from on all levels of my being in regard to this issue.  Understanding the basics now of what the function of the energy body is, and how it behaves when out of balance, known as "blocked", I set an intention to remember what it was or discover what it is that clogs up this chakra point.  At first, I was so excited to actually be able to understand why my lower back and legs always felt tense, if not completely twisted up in pain, that I became focused and vigilant about "fixing" this.  That is what I do.  

When "the bell goes off in my head", and I realize a truth, I am often driven to evaluate my perception system around that truth.  To ascertain how closely my vibration is aligned with that truth, and this is what happened here, with my Root Chakra.  Once the initial pieces of information were processed, I began to put together the story, or memory, of what beliefs I had that slowed the natural flow of energy through that point.  Saying that actually reminds me.... I didn't really do all that much - I just became open to the solution, and things lined up to create it... because that's all we ever need to do.  

We confuse things with all of our efforts sometimes.  We only need to trust that all of the answers are within us, set our intentions with gratitude and faith and allow them to manifest.  After all, the formula never changes.... Thought + Emotion = Belief.  Beliefs, impressed into The Law (that facet of Source Energy which manifests form from belief) become things.  It's always the same.  It always works.  Where humanity gets confused with this is in trying to create, having 2 out of 3 factors in the equation.  Many of us attempt to set a thought into law that they do not actually feel the truth of emotionally.  The formula is not complete unless you have Belief.... Feeling nor Idea without one another do not create belief.  One must be able to embrace the emotion behind their thought to have an intention plugged properly into the source system, if they want to manifest the things they desire.

So... ironically - our lesson in Foundations class yesterday was all about the affirmation.  It should be noted that I did not really delve into this lesson fully because I had already done both of the first two classes in this series... so my homework just needed to be updated to today's perceptions.  Because of my quest, I have scoured the internet for information that will shore up what I know in my heart to be the truth.  Earlier in the week I had found Teal Scott's interview on YouTube with someone and during it she shared about how hard it was for her to "swallow" affirmations regarding self-love when she was introduced to it.  She used the concepts in Dr. Imoto's work with affirmation/vibration and ice molecules to combat this.  Instead of speaking the affirmations to herself, which she was finding ever more difficult, she spoke them into the water. Then, she drank it.  She called it "going through the back door".  When I saw this I remember thinking, "I wish I had known about that when I was in that same place in my journey."  I didn't have a resentment feeling, like you would when you envy someone finding an easier road than you.  But I wondered "why now, why not then" at the time.  Sure enough, there was an individual in our class who could not even utter the words of an affirmation to themselves, and I was able to share the tool with the class, including them.  It was such a blessing to be able to transfer that knowledge to others so quickly after grasping it.

Finally, this morning was the explosion in my head that clicked.  I subscribe to 11:11 Awakening Code on Facebook, and the theme for the week is affirmations.... and today up popped the Sacral/Root chakra, with affirmations... and there it was:

"I belong here.  I am a part of the tribe."

... and it resonated with me so intensely, that I knew it was the root issue in my blockage.  I began to recite these two sentances... and already I'm feeling a lessening in the constant pressure in my lower back.

This may look easy on the outside, because of the smiles on the faces of those who have chosen the path of awakening/enlightenment/healing.  Do not be fooled.  This internal work is the most intense journey I've ever been on.... but the smile comes from knowing that the work pays off in joy, bliss, contentment, and a feeling of connection like nothing I have ever embarked upon in my more than half a century on this planet.

Sandrasingh.com Yarns is having a giveaway!!

She has created this cool cowl pattern, called On The Hudson and is offering 4 chances to win it, and 1 chance to win a "kit" with the pattern and 4 skeins of her super soft, beautiful colorways of 1ply Worsted to knit it with.  I won a contest on her blog a few years ago and ordered a few more skeins with my winnings (she even shipped the rest for free!!).  I have to say that this is now one of my absolute favorite yarns!!  There are so many color combinations to choose from with names like, "Sherwood Forest" (certainly one of my favorites for "man colors"), Granny Smith & MacIntosh, Tiger Eye, and Tree Hugger... I could go on, but you should really check it out for yourself.  I'm entering and I've already got my colors picked out!!!!  Good Luck!!

Here's the link:

Knitting With Sandra Singh Pattern & Yarn Giveaway

Unique Places That You Knit

So, I almost never leave the house without a project.  I'm not a good "waiter" if I don't have something to keep me occupied while I wait.  Last night, I found myself so happy that this is the case!!!

I was on my way home from Grants Pass (45 min away) where I had to deal with some legal issues, and take a few things back and pick up a few things from the dreaded Walmart.  I was going about 15 miles over the speed limit when I saw flashing lights approaching from pretty far behind me.  I thought, "there's no way he could have clocked me from that far away, and I know I didn't pass him"... and pulled over.  The ambulance passed me, and the Oregon State Patrol was not far behind him.  I knew there had been an accident somewhere south of me on the highway, and hoped that it was the other side of Cave Junction, where I live.

I hit the stopped traffic about 3 miles from town.  Dammit.  My heater fan went out today!!  I hope this doesn't take too long.  Well, thank god for my baby blanket project, and my dome light!!!  Nearly 3 hours later, the scene was cleared and they let us through.  I am so glad I had my knitting with me?

So, how about you?  What are some of the unique places you've knitted in?  Any place you want to see if you can knit?  I always wanted to figure out a way to knit on the back of a motorcycle.. but the one I was on didn't have a sissy bar... so I figured I'd better wait until I had that support before I decided that I could pay attention to anything but staying on the seat!!!